Depression and suicidal thoughts not only take a toll on the person experiencing them, but on the people who care about those suffering the most. Heidi Angerstein shares her first-hand point of view on having a daughter with depression throughout her time at Wenatchee High School.

“It was frustrating. I didn’t feel like there was a lot of help out there for me. I didn’t have any resources, because the only resources I was given weren’t available. It made it really difficult to get help for my daughter,” Angerstein said, referring to the lack of counselors and psychiatrists willing to help in the valley.

Angerstein said her now 20-year-old daughter’s depression and “feeling different” began in the eighth grade, and she was hospitalized twice by the age of 18. Kennedy Angerstein shared with her mother that she was suicidal, but at the hospital they overlooked this issue and said they couldn’t help. Of the three psychiatrists in the valley that she was referred to, only one called back and said that they could fit her in in a couple of months.

“There’s so much suicide in our valley, but no resources that we need. I ended up contacting a psychiatrist in Seattle, and took her there on a weekly basis until she felt she was ready to see a psychologist in Wenatchee where she goes once a week,” Angerstein said.

Angerstein said she coped by getting some advice from clients and getting into counseling herself so that she could better understand where her daughter was coming from. Depression was never something that was in their family, so she wanted to understand how to help.

“I just want people to know that it’s happening, it’s hard to admit when you’re depressed for young kids, but you can’t just assume that if someone is happy that they’re not suicidal. Take everything seriously even if it’s just a small comment,” Angerstein said.

What triggered Kennedy’s suicide attempts was alcohol; it made her feel worse about herself. Her mother said her daughter wasn’t interested in taking medication, and wanted to get better by herself, and drinking and taking antidepressants only made it worse.

“It’s been a battle for us from the time she was in the eighth grade. It was nothing super obvious at first, but I saw cries for help and got on it. I’m a very hands-on mom,” Angerstein said.

She noticed differences in her daughter such as withdrawing from the family, no relationships with her siblings, finding disturbing things she wrote and drew, not having a lot of friends, always in her own world, and not seeming happy in general.

“It was hard not having the resources in Wenatchee. I felt that I was the only one going through that,” Angerstein said. “I think that as a community we need to get more psychiatrists and come together and expose the suicide rate instead of hiding in shame and pretending it’s not happening.”